


Dancing in the Moonlight

by skargasm



Series: The Midnight Howl [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Humor, LJ Prompt, M/M, Sexual Humor, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:13:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is a radio talk show host, talking about the mystical on air. Tonight he has a special guest and they’ve decided to let people get a little more adult rated..</p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <a href="http://imgur.com/jI0muuB">
      <img/>
    </a>
  </p>
</div>Banner made by Ravensclaw<p>P.s. Any suggestions for moon-based songs, or merely werewolf-friendly greatly appreciated. Comment here or come see me over on <a href="Http://www.skmanganelli.tumblr.com">s k Manganelli</a> tumblr and drop me an ask!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing in the Moonlight

“Hi, you’re listening to the Midnight Howl here on 185.5, Beacon Hills’ other radio station. We have been overwhelmed with requests for a slightly more NC17 version of the Midnight Howl, so tonight we’re going to be talking about the sexier side of the supernatural. And shockingly enough, I have a guest here tonight to provide some answers although I can’t guarantee he’ll actually do any talking—but he loves me so he said yes to being here. My name is Stiles and I’m your host this evening. Hey, you’re on the air.”

“Umm, yeah, I heard you were going to do this and I wondered if we’re allowed to like, you know, ask questions.”

“Well, I’m not going to pretend to be some sort of sex guru but I’m always up for hearing about other people’s kinks. Fire away.” 

“Okay, well, you know the whole ‘mate’ thing—is it for real, or is it just a line?”

“Ooooh straight for the jugular although we haven’t had a vampire on yet so I shouldn’t really say that. First of all, are we talking wolves?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, I can only go on my own experience and all of this is JMHO so no one can sue me okay? But yeah, wolves are all about finding their mate and settling down.” Stiles covered his microphone slightly so that he could hear what was being said to him. “Okay, my shy friend here says that although wolves are looking for their mate, there isn’t just **one** , it’s about a person being compatible and acceptable to the people side and their wolf side and working together.”

“Oh.” The caller sounded a bit upset.

“Don’t tell me—you’re my one true mate baby, after you there can be no one else?” He allowed himself to give what he thought was a pretty good impersonation of Jackson when he was acting at his most douchiest.

“Yeah. He—he said that he’d been searching his whole life for me and that once we were together there couldn’t be anyone else for him ever.”

“Ah man. Well, that’s not quite the truth. Wolves are serial-monogamous by nature, but while they’re searching for that mate, they can be as much of a hound-dog or bitch as the next person.” Stiles grinned. “As you no doubt already know if you heard the whole foursome mixer incident from a few weeks back.”

“Yeah I guess that’s why I was a bit suspicious—but not enough. I guess I should have known better than to fall for that, right?”

“What can I say? I’m sorry you fell for the line but at least you know the truth now and won’t fall for it again. And if you want to get your own back, just make sure you’re covered in someone else’s scent the next time you see him—whether he wants you for keeps or not, you smelling like someone else will drive him wild. Thanks for calling.” Catrina motioned hurry up through the booth window and Stiles reluctantly let the caller go. It looked like it was going to be a busy night for callers. “Hi, you’re on the air and this is the Midnight Howl.”

“Hey Stiles, I’m Sasha! I feel like I know so much about you, what with how you’ve shared about your pack and your alpha and everything. And I just wanted to know, what do you do about personal scents? Do you have to use special soap and aftershave?”

“Welcome to the Midnight Howl, Sasha. I can’t tell you how many sponsors would like me to say there’s a particular smell that works on every wolf out there in a good way—believe me, I could make an absolute bundle—but it’s all about the pheromones baby. If you smell good to a supe, then you smell good. Perfume, aftershave, cologne—none of it means a damn thing if they don’t like your personal scent.”

“So you don’t like wear something special for your alpha then?”

“Nope. Although if I want to piss him off, there’s a few things I can put on that make him sneeze.” Stiles manfully ignored the snigger from his side. “Does that help?”

“Yeah I guess so. My girlfriend gave me a perfume that she said was guaranteed to work but I guess that was a crock. Thanks, I’m a huge fan and looking forward to listening to the rest of the show.”

“No, thank you. And it looks like we already have another caller. Hi, you’re on the air.”

“Hello. So, do you ever get to top?”

“What?!” It was rare for Stiles to be speechless and he knew he should have expected some slightly more personal questions but he hadn’t really expected this one.

“You know—do you ever get to be anything but the catcher? Cos my friend says that there’s no way an alpha will bend over for anyone!” 

“Wow, okay, that was unexpected. And for once in my life, I am actually going to keep my mouth shut and not answer that one. Next caller please!” He deliberately didn’t turn and catch the gaze that was burning into the side of his face—he wanted to keep breathing thanks very much. “Hi, you’re on the Midnight Howl.”

“Hey, does it count as beastiality if your partner is in his beta form?”

“And next!”

“Oh, wow, um, yeah I just wondered what you do about getting spunk out of fur?”

“Holy sh—okay, next!”

“Hey, um, my girlfriend is snake-shifter and she promises that she can keep her fangs to herself but I’m real iffy about letting her give me a blow job whilst she’s shifted. What do you think man?”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Staring at Catrina through the booth window, Stiles threw his hands into the air. “I know I said NC17 but this is seriously freaky! Okay, caller, you’re on the air.”

“Stiles.” Head in his hands, Stiles wondered if it was possible to leave town. Like now, before he had to say anything further. It looked like the Gods weren’t smiling down at him however.

“Yeah Dad?”

“Son, I really don’t want to have to arrest you for public indecency. Again.”

“Yeah Dad.”

“See you and Derek for brunch Stiles.”

“Yeah Dad.” Eyes half closed, Stiles pressed the next button. “You’re on the Midnight Howl and for all that is Holy, _please_ make this a normal sex question.”

“Can a werewolf knot you during a blow-job? And if so, is it true you can drown from the sheer amount of cum?” 

“And it’s time for a commercial break! We’ll be right back unless I manage to get out of the studio in one piece.” Yanking his headphones off his head as the sounds of ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ by Toploader began to seep through, Stiles turned to his companion. “Fine, fine, go ahead and say it. You know you want to.”

“What?” 

“Seriously? Come on, you’ve been dying to say I told you so ever since the first caller!”

“Well, yeah, cos I did. But that doesn’t mean—okay, Stiles I told you so! What did you think was going to happen?”

“I thought people would be talking about romance and love, man, you know—how to romance your alpha; the best way to tell if you’re werewolf is horny or hungry. I didn’t expect this!” 

“Stiles, not everyone is—or _was_ as innocent and romantically minded as you. Seriously, a virgin until you were twenty-one? Just—most people have their minds in the gutter.” Banging his head onto the desk, Stiles tried to figure out just how he was going to survive the rest of the show. He couldn’t handle these questions—hell, he probably didn’t know the answers to most of them! “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Remember you owe me a favour? A big favour?”

“Stiles—“

“I’m calling it.”

“Hell and no.”

“D’ya want me to tell Erica about you wearing her underwear? Because you and I both know she didn’t buy that whole _they stretched in the wash_ excuse and is still looking for the culprit.”

“You’d really throw me under the bus like that?”

“Oh hell yes! Especially if it means I can look my father in the eye tomorrow morning.”

“What kind of pack member are you that you would use blackmail?”

“The saving my own ass kind. So—you know how the buttons work cos you’ve watched me often enough. Catrina will help you out as much as you need—I am outtie dude.”

“Don’t call me dude. And we are so even after this, right?”

“Totally.” He knew he had him but waited politely for the final capitulation, humming quietly along to the song while he waited. 

“Fine. But—just let me have an alias or something! And what about your boss?”

“What the hell do you need an alias for? As soon as they hear your voice, most of them will know it’s you! And the boss won’t care—he still can’t believe how big an audience we have and as long as he doesn’t have to pay you, he won’t give a shit.” A bang on the glass made him look up and he smiled, not surprised in the slightest. “Hold on. Hey, you are listening to the Midnight Howl on 185.5, Beacon Hills’ other radio and we’re making a slight change to our advertised programme tonight. Now before you complain, it’s still going to be NC17 but you’ve got yourselves a new host. I know you’ll be good to him—not _that_ way you bunch of perverts—so with no further ado, I’m passing you over.” 

Giving Catrina the thumbs up and ignoring the fan-girl swooning she was giving at the change of host, Stiles smoothly swung out of his chair and raced out of the studio before anyone could change their mind. Grabbing Derek by the hand, he headed through the corridors, half listening to the speakers that lined the hallway as they made their way out.

“Yeah, um, hey this is the Midnight Howl and I’m your one-off temporary host for the evening, Isaac Lahey. So hit me with the questions you really want the answers to but make sure your mother isn’t listening—based on the questions so far, this isn’t for the weak of heart!” 

“How the hell did you get him to agree to taking over for you?” Derek guided him towards the Camaro, warm hand lingering at the base of his spine as he opened the car door for him. 

“I had some major dirt and was prepared to use it. Besides, did you _hear_ some of those questions?”

“Uh-huh, which is why I made my way over. I got the feeling you might need some moral support—I didn’t realise you already had immoral support right next to you.” Giving Derek a quick kiss of gratitude, Stiles fell into the car seat, making himself comfortable as Derek walked around the car and got in with his usual grace and economy of movement.

“You complaining?” Stiles took a few moments to enjoy looking at Derek—he was all relaxed and sexy-looking, tight black t-shirt and jeans that showed his muscular thighs to advantage.

“Not in the slightest. It’s been a while since we had a Saturday night all to ourselves—and a lie-in on a Sunday morning.”

“Yeah, well don’t forget brunch tomorrow.” Derek nodded acknowledgement as he started the car, half-turning in his seat so that he could reverse safely out of the parking space.

“Thanks by the way. But you didn’t have to.”

“For what?”

“Not answering those questions.”

“I have no idea how to get spunk out of fur.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the slight quirk to Derek’s mouth. But yeah, he got it. What he and Derek got up to in the bedroom was for them to know and none of anyone else’s business—who played catcher and who played pitcher was irrelevant as long as they were both happy. Other wolf packs were often not so enlightened in their viewpoint on life—the whole not having cubs because of being gay had proven to be enough of an obstacle when they had first got drawn into the Werewolf Alliance Network. And if Stiles still spelled that in his head as the **W** erewolf **A** lliance **N** etwor **K** because some of those old-timers were complete wankers, that was something he kept to himself. The Hale-McCall pack was too efficient at keeping their territory safe for them not to be included in the Alliance, so the bigots could suck it.

“So, since we have the night to ourselves—you wanna go parking?”

“Did you not hear your father say he didn’t want to have to arrest us again?” In spite of his answer, Derek changed direction, heading towards the old drive-in movie site and Stiles laughed—maybe he and his werewolf would do some of their own dancing in the moonlight.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> For @stripelessz who gave me the song idea of 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Toploader. Sincere apologies, there should have been more of Taming the Beast but I am in the process of decorating a flat in preparation for moving and I am too exhausted to think too hard. So instead, you got some slightly smutty Radio host Stiles with a special guest appearance.


End file.
